The amount of skepticism in being completely honest about life is, to me, unsettling.  A very big percentage of people would rather live a lie  than deal with rejection or disappointment. Why are we, as a people, so afraid of disappointment?  I had quite the year after this love mix!!! From beating myself for even daring to open my mouth……..to what a shameless woman you are ,…… to you are lying,….this is only fiction,…it did not happen in real life,………..,to you mean you actually asked a guy out,…to what is wrong with you, to who does that?,………to chic you are brave ,…..to you did the right thing  ……gggooooossshhhhhhh !  I think i have an inkling where madness starts because all these voices in my head, some cheering e on , others condemning me were not exactly making my situation any better. The message i was constantly hearing is that it’s better not to dream big than to be disappointed/ rejected.

The aftershock from that vibing experience still shakes my friendships, sometimes. I have had a hard time dealing with rejection and disappointment in fact whenever i sensed or imagined it miles away i run….or maybe i should borrow the word fled. I worried about being too much, coming on too strong, intruding where i was  not wanted. I got a little twitchy and a lot insecure when I got too close to a guy because was not  sure where to draw the line on boundaries.  I threw pity parties and attended them alone , and my dear…self -pity is such a useless emotion. I sulked and cried all the boy tears i could , and then decided it was time to take back my life, enough was enough ! I accepted God’s love and He began to heal my heart.

So Why are we so afraid? What’s so bad about disappointment and or rejection for that matter ? If anything, it’s character-forming, it makes you think bigger , work harder, and while it may upset you and disillusion you for a while, is it not better than a life lived in fear and avoidance?

See,i am a curious being… i really wanted to know…… had i not asked ,maybe the 15 year friendship would now be 20 years and i would still be holding onto false hope…..maybe not…but am sure glad i asked. What was going through his mind, i wondered? Then a friend told me its the ‘in thing’ to let girls bank on non- existent accounts , only to be disappointed at the time of withdrawal of funds, when there is nothing to receive. Another friend  says, its all about expectations and i do not disagree, but in as much as we want to manage our expectations, the failure to find out the truth for fear of rejection or disappointment should never be an option.

Here is what i learned from this painful experience, as painful as disappointments are, I’m starting to think they’re a necessary proving ground for genuine, long lasting friendships.Being human and honest about life isn’t going to ruin your relationships. Hiding your humanity behind a veil for fear of disappointment might, though. If you love someone, don’t let your fear of disappointment dictate the relationship. They’re going to let you down, because they’re not God. You’re going to let them down, because even on your best day, you’re not either. Therefore choose to love fully even though it means opening yourself to rejection. Understand who you are and what value you possess and  choose to love you before anything  else.

When you’ve been rejected, there is a tendency  to build some sort of protection mechanism to keep yourself from feeling that pain ever again. The problem is, what that protection mechanism does is keep us from rejection, but also stand in the way of intimacy and genuine love.  Yet loving people means we might be rejected, but we choose to love them anyway. Desist from the temptation to build walls around your ka heart…” if at first you don’t succeed…..you are normal!!

I do not know what kind of rejection or disappointment you are dealing with right now,your scholarship application may have been rejected a million times,it could be a failed promotion, an unfaithful partner, a failing relationship, a business that is not growing, academic results that do not reflect the glory of God, whatever it is, this one thing i know, God will not leave you nor will he forsake you, so rest in the knowledge that He has your back and begin to live again!

STAY BLESSED !